Christmas 2008!

Christmas this year was so awesome! It was great to celebrate as a family of four!!

We saw Santa three times (and wrote him a letter). This is how Santa knew to bring Jonah a Screaming Banshee (character from the Cars movie).

We went to Zoolights on Christmas Eve which is becoming quite the tradition.

We had a Happy Birthday Jesus cake after Zoolights at the Withers home which is also a regular tradition.
We had a wonderful Christmas morning at home, just the four of us.

Christmas dinner was with Dylan and Deb, but we didn't get any pictures!

We had a wonderful holiday season. We are a very blessed family.

Jonah update

I wanted to also put up a post about new things happening with Jonah since our last post. First of all, Jonah LOVES farms. We went to several farms with playgroup, church, and as a family over the spring and summer and Jonah was totally into it.

This is Jonah running so fast through a farm that I can barely keep up.

This is Jonah on the wagon riding home with all his loot (vegetables). Seriously, he really is good at picking vegetables.
This is Jonah pretending to ride a tractor at a farm exhibit that was outside of the Children's Museum this summer.

Jonah, Jackson, and I also visited and rode on Thomas the Tank Engine in September. Always a hit!
Another thing that Jonah tried this year is basketball. That was very challenging. There are many skills involved with basketball such as dribbling, passing, and shooting. He finds that challenging, but it was a good experience to at least try out a team sport. Jonah still prefers swimming, but we may try soccer next year.
He did, however, like to receive the Y Sports participation medal at the end of the basketball season. Having just watched the Beijing Olympics a few months ago, he thought that they were all gold medal winners.

Our Big Kid is in Preschool

Jonah officially started preschool on Tuesday. We went to the Open House the Wednesday before, and I left wondering what I was worried about. My child, the one who has only been pooping in the potty for about 2 months (although keeping his underwear clean for a year), inspected the boys' toilet, did all his business there (numbers 1 and 2), cleaned himself off, got himself dressed again, and washed his hands like a pro. He ate the snack, and inspected the toys. He is so happy that his "best friend" Jackson is in his preschool class.

On Tuesday, he was fine. I was slightly emotional, but much better than I was worried that I was going to be. Grady, Jackson's mom Marne, and I went and had coffee and a crepe at the Perk and Play coffee shop, and I couldn't believe how long Jonah was actually at preschool (2 1/2 hours can seem really long on the first day especially when I'm not really used to leaving him).

Here's some pictures of both Jonah and Jackson outside and inside the preschool (they would only smile in pictures of them together), and of the three of us inspecting Jonah's art work from his first day:


Jonah was pretty emotional (cried a lot and needed to be held) after he got home. Little things really set him off that day like his macaroni touching his grapes on his lunch plate. The wonderful thing is that he is so verbal he can tell me in great detail everything that happened with a little prompting on the way. For example, the teacher wouldn't let Jackson and him play with the dump truck, so they played with the bulldozer with another little boy whose name he doesn't know. There aren't wood chips but dirt on the playground, but there aren't trucks to play with outside. They sang "The Wheels on the Bus" and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" but didn't use motions on "Twinkle, Twinkle." You get the idea. So, I knew that nothing terrible had happened, but I know that my little boy has a definite streak of perfectionism in him. He was holding all the stress in of being in a new environment with new adults and kids and not really knowing what was expected of him. Then when he got home, it all poured out of him. I told him it's ok to miss his family, and that it's a wonderful idea to introduce yourself to new friends and get to know their names. We all went out for ice cream again to celebrate Jonah's "big kid in preschool status". By Thursday (preschool is every Tuesday and Thursday morning), he was a pro. He went in the classroom, I helped him find his nametag, he put it on a cubby, put his backpack in, went to wash his hands and sat down in the circle after a hug and a kiss goodbye. That's all our Jonah needs. To understand what is expected of him. My big 3 1/2 year old boy will thrive in preschool this year, I just know it.

Grady - Great news and he's two!!

Family picture at Grady's birthday party (8/16/08)

So, we had Grady's sedated hearing test on 8/13 (his second birthday), and he doesn't need hearing aids! I wasn't thrilled about putting him under again (and the hard part was this time I couldn't be there when he was put under which was not the case when he was put under for his surgery on 6/10 at Children's Hospital). The sedated hearing test took around two hours. When I went into the recovery room, Grady was really popular, and the nurses didn't want me to hold him. (I was so happy when they placed him in my arms so I could comfort him and feed him).

The audiologist explained that his hearing in his right ear is completely normal. It might even be better than normal, but she didn't continue the test beyond normal. The hearing in his left ear is slightly off, but she didn't think it was off by much at all. The reason could be as simple as the placement of his ear tubes. They will continue to follow him and have more tests because they want the behavior tests to match the sedated tests, but she really thinks that he will not need hearing aids. This is spectacular news!

He has definitely been making progress in his development although sometimes people don't notice, and it is painstakingly slow. The physical therapist is always very pleased with Grady's progress when she comes to see him each week. He is building up his endurance walking with one of us holding both of his hands, and he is able to walk a little bit with us holding one hand. He is able to stand for a few seconds alone. As far as his speech therapy, he is vocalizing to get our attention and to get things he needs, and he is able to use the "M" sound more consistently. He is able to do a few signs (although it is a lot of work, and he is very stubborn and only does them with much prodding). He can do "milk", "eat", and wave "bye bye", but this is a lot of work still to get him to do it. Instead of signing "more", he puts his hands in my hands to have me do it. I think he thinks that is what the sign is since I have been doing it for him, hand over hand, for so long. He is off the waitlist for speech therapy at Children's Hospital, and so the commute each way will now only be five minutes instead of thirty. I'm so proud of our little guy. I do get impatient for things to move more quickly sometimes. So many emotions all at once.

I was thinking about Grady's birthmother on his birthday. I wish I could tell her that he is fine and how much he is growing and changing right now. The gift that we have received from her is indescribable, and I wonder what she thinks of on 8/13 each year, the day that he was born and entered the orphanage. I hope that there is some miraculous way in the future for my boy to get to know his first parents. We did buy flowers to remember his birthmother by for his birthday. Grady doesn't understand yet, but Jonah knew that they were for "Grady's China mama." We'll see what Grady wants to do when he is more in charge.

Grady's favorite food ever is ice cream. His first toddler like temper tantrum occured after his June surgery when he had on his no nos. We were at the Macaroni Grill, and we were giving him some of the ice cream that came with Jonah's meal off our fingers. Boy was he mad that there wasn't more! So, for his birthday, we went to Red Robin for dinner and had ice cream for dessert. That definitely made him happy!

We had a joint birthday party planned for Saturday 8/16 with another little boy from playgroup named Connor who turned four the same day that Grady turned two. It was to be in our very spacious backyard and was to involve some actual games (like a three legged race). That was when the weather decided to be more Seattle than Colorado. Since living here in Colorado, we've become spoiled by the weather. It can pour buckets, but not for usually more than like 45 min and then it's done. Ryan and I have been at Rockies games at Coors Field when it seems like it is definitely going to rain out when the sun comes up, they lift the tarp, and they just start again. But on Friday the 15th and Saturday the 16th of August this year, it poured all day and the highs were close to 60. Connor's family was in the middle of a move to another suburb. Fortunately, my brilliant husband had the idea of asking the pastor and deacons at our church if we could move the party to the basement. Thank goodness they agreed, Ryan was still able to barbeque the brats and hot dogs under an awning, and the party went on. Both guests of honor enjoyed themselves greatly, and everyone else seemed to have fun as well. Enjoy the pictures that follow!

Mama, Grady, and Connor (the other guest of honor) and the cake

Sometimes all you need to have fun is a ball on the floor (notice the glee in his eyes - the child LOVES balls!)

Getting ready for the pinata

There were some games like Musical Chairs, and thank goodness my good friend brought the tent and tunnels, and Connor's mom provided a bouncy castle!

At first, Grady was unsure of the cupcakes that Mama and Melissa made...

But his opinion quickly changed

The other really cool thing that we just went by our 6 month anniversary of "Family Day". Grady came to our hotel room on 2/17, and he was officially adopted into the Self family on 2/18! What a miracle he is! Check out the "then" and "now" photos:

New Pictures!

I have finally updated my website. Just a few months behind on that whole thing... Anyway, the pictures from the first three months of the year are up, including the trip to pick up Grady in China.

Check 'em out at: http://ryankself.com/family/pictures/gallery16.php

Update on our family and Love without Boundaries

It's been so long since I've posted. Please forgive me for being so out of touch!!!!

Check out how well Grady is doing:

This picture is of him in the parent/ tot swim class. His lip looks so good (thanks Dr. Morton!) that people comment on how it doesn't look like he had surgery so recently and he looks so good. I didn't use to have much faith in plastic surgeons (I thought they were all about boob jobs), but I'm so happy with the great job that Dr. Morton did (and will do in the fall again). Plastic surgeons do really good work!!

And here is a picture of the boys at the Fourth of July:

Notice the tee shirts they made with Ryan at our friend Lana's house. She is so creative! We had a lovely Fourth of July at Georgetown again this year. It is so nice to do small town things for the fourth of July. There was a parade (with fire department and all), activities in the downtown, hanging out and playing games at James' parents house there, and watching fireworks from their porch. Thanks so much for letting us crash your family event yet again!!!

We are so happy to have Grady in our family. Here are some things we're currently trying to figure out.....

1. Incorporating Grady's birth culture and language more in our family. I recently went to an open house at the Joyous Chinese Cultural Center (Chinese language and dance school located at our adoption agency). We're thinking about that for the future. We also went to an open house for a K-8 Charter school located here in Aurora called Global Village Academy which has a bilingual Mandarin/ English program as well as an IB program. I know, I know... Jonah isn't going to kindergarten until 2010.... but what can I say?! We're trying to be prepared!! That school seems exciting, too. We also went to the Dragon Boat festival which they have the last weekend in July in Denver every year.

2. Figuring out how to proceed with Grady's current needs. We still don't know the extent of Grady's hearing and implications for the future. He is scheduled for an ABR (Auditory Brainstem Response test) on his birthday (8/13). Basically, he will be hooked up to electrodes and the test will find out how much he is hearing without requiring any response from him (hard in young children). We will see where to go from there. We will find out if he needs further hearing tests, hearing aids, etc. He is currently receiving physical therapy once a week and everyone is so happy with his progress!!! Today he was independently pushing around a push toy (even with an ear infection!) He is also going to speech once weekly. He has just starting using the "m" sound! They are anxious for the results of the hearing tests as well.

3. Caring about other orphans. There was a missionary at our church this Sunday who works with orphans in Myanmar. We would love to do something in another country with orphans for a year or two if it works out.... maybe when the boys are in middle school??

But this is the other main point of my post: We can all do a little something to keep kids from being orphaned in the first place!!! Many rural families put their kids in orphanages because they can't care for their needs. Some of the kids I played with in an orphanage in Morelia, Mexico were there because they were getting fed there. Many kids in China are put in orphanages because their families cannot afford their medical care. We'll never know if that was the case with Grady's biological family, but it is something I wonder about. I wish that we could tell his biological family about the care and love that he is receiving now and let him get to know them as well. However, this is not something that I can do.

However, something we can all do is contribute $1 for the new Love without Boundaries Unity fund. I know that many of you have heard about my admiration for Love without Boundaries. Before we went to China for Grady, I sent many notes on Facebook to help Love without Boundaries get a "cause" award from Facebook....which they won. They help orphans in China with their medical, nutrition, foster care, and education needs.

Now, they are raising money to provide needed surgeries for rural kids in China to be able to stay with their families!! Remaining UNITED with their biological families is what's best for kids! Please support this new fund.....

And there is a contest that we can all benefit from as well. :) One lucky person will win a beautiful coffee table book, some earrings, a Love without Boundaries tee shirt, and a gas gift card to 7-11!! All you have to do to enter this contest is send an email to info@lwbmail.com and say “I support helping rural children in need.” That will get you one entry. Putting this contest on your blog will get you five entries and making a You Tube Video will get you 50 entries. So, yes, I want those entries, and that is one reason for this blog post. However, I truly believe in Love without Boundaries and their mission to help orphaned Chinese children. They are my very favorite charity. And this contest got all of you another Grady update!

So, please donate to this very worthy cause and tell others as well. Here is the link for more information if you desire: Love Without Boundaries

To send your $1 to keep a child with his family, please send it here: LWB, 306 S. Bryant, Ste. C-145, Edmond, OK 73034

I'll let you know what comes of the hearing test!

Grady is doing well

Here is Grady sleeping peacefully in his car seat in his crib on Wednesday night around 10 pm when I was on my way to bed. (Grady was to sleep in his car seat to keep his head properly elevated and to aid in healing). Jonah's bed is right next to the crib and he was sleeping soundly as well.


I went in to the boys' room at 6 am to check on Grady and give him his pain medication. When I walked in, I saw that Jonah was asleep, but in the crib all I saw was the empty car seat and Grady's no nos (arm restraints) splayed across it. He had gotten out of the car seat and the no nos and was happily lying on his back with his hands in his mouth. This really scared me because the surgeon had warned us that the no nos had to be worn to ensure a good recovery. So, I picked him up and took him into Ryan. Ryan inspected him for damage while I went to retrieve the no nos. There was dried blood on his hands which makes us think that he had his hands in his mouth for awhile. The outside of his lip looked fine, but we were scared to check the inside because we thought that we might damage it by lifting it up to check. We're hoping it's ok.

Later that morning when the plastic surgery clinic opened, I called the nurse to tell her about the Great Escape. She just asked if it looked ok and I said that it did. So, hopefully it's fine. Then I asked her about how much I was supposed to be feeding him since we had so much trouble getting him to eat from the syringe when we were home on Wednesday. She asked me how much he usually drank before the surgery and I told her that he had baby food and 24-27 ounces a day of formula. So, she said that we should be aiming for 24-27 ounces of formula a day. Nice.

Jonah had a playdate planned for Thursday. Some friends were taking him to the Museum of Nature and Science. Unfortunately, one of them got sick. Jonah was pretty disappointed about not being able to go, so I ended up taking him (we have a membership to that museum) while Ryan stayed home on formula feeding duty. We did manage to get some more formula in Grady that day.

Grady was feeling much better on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday and was much more into playing. We all even went to a playdate with our playgroup at the park on Friday. Here's some pictures.


Honestly, this surgery recovery is really good for attachment purposes. We have of course been working on attachment since China. Children from orphanages have trouble attaching to their families because they might not know how to depend on adults for comfort. He has to depend on us for comfort, rocking, feeding, etc. and he seems to appreciate us even more than he did before the surgery. I was really, really nervous about this surgery recovery, but much like the adoption process, it has been much easier than I expected. Therapy and helping him learn things has been much more challenging for me than surgery. And it is a challenge that I truly enjoy.

The awesome plastic surgeon called on Friday night at 8 pm to check to see how Grady was. It was so nice and so totally above the call of duty! I was in the boys' room trying to help them with going to sleep (I was unsuccessful....Jonah ended up reading to Grady from his bed of his own accord which put them to sleep for which I was so grateful. What an awesome big brother!!!!) Ryan talked to the surgeon and asked if it would be ok for us to feed Grady with the bottle since eating and sleeping have been the major challenges post surgery. The surgeon said that creating suction would disturb the suture. However, Grady never has had suction or used any special cleft feeders. He uses regular baby bottles with a wide cut nipple. He just chews the nipple on the non- cleft side and gets the formula down his throat that way. His lip doesn't even close all the way. So, the surgeon said that we could feed him with a bottle if there was no suction. That has made things much easier, although sleep is still a little bit difficult since Grady wishes that he could put his hands in his mouth.

Tomorrow, Ryan is taking Grady to get his stitches removed. I will be taking Jonah to his first ever dentist visit. Apparently, we are a doctor- going family!! :)

Happy Father's Day to everyone!

Recovery from Surgery

So, while we were in the waiting room where Grady was having his surgery yesterday, I got yelled at by the receptionist. Apparently, I was too far away when they called from the operating room. They just called to let us know that everything was going fine. That same receptionist had given us a pager (the little black circle thingies that they give out at restaurants), and had asked for my cell phone number, but she chose to just yell out "Self" instead.

After that, we were stationed right near the desk. So, we were right there when they said it was time to go see Grady in the recovery room (where people go to recover from being under general anesthesia). It took us awhile to gather up the pile of technology (computer, IPod, etc.). By the time we got back there, we could hear our little guy crying and he did look a lot different. He was also quite mad that he couldn't put his hands in his mouth due to the "no-nos" on his arms keeping him from bending his elbows. On top of that, he was quite hungry from not being able to eat since 6:30 am (we went back to the recovery room at 3:30pm. However, he was happy to have some apple juice. Here are some recovery room pictures:



Ryan and I just realized that we somehow didn't get any pictures of our overnight stay in the hospital room. Apparently we were too busy taking care of our boys. Anyway, Grady actually slept really well last night. Ryan rubbed his head (in his carseat in the hospital crib to keep his head elevated, which was good because he doesn't like sleeping in unfamiliar places) until he took Jonah home and then I rubbed his head for about an hour. He fell asleep at 9pm and amazingly stayed asleep until 3:15 am. (He even missed some pain medication and slept through some blood pressure checks, which is no small miracle.) He had his pain medication and fell back asleep again at 4:30 and stayed asleep until 6:30.

In the morning, the surgeon came by and was happy that he had been drinking some apple juice out of a syringe. We were discharged at 9:15 am. We came home to watch a Bug's Life.



After some sleep, Grady was actually trying to play and read this afternoon.



We're all pretty exhausted and after this morning, Grady has been much more resistant to having formula, juice, or water out of the syringe. In the morning, I'm going to call the plastic surgery department to find out how many ounces he is supposed to have every day to know what to work toward. If anyone wants to pray that he will get the nourishment that he needs for recovery and that the rest of us won't snap at each other out of exhaustion, that would be greatly appreciated.

Jonah played in the backyard today, went to swim lessons, and tomorrow a friend is taking him to a museum. We are so lucky to have such great friends to help us here so we can focus on Grady. For that, we are very grateful.

Grady will be getting his outside stitches removed on Monday and will stay in the "no-nos" for about two weeks. I'll update more later.

The Rest of Our Lives...

In a previous post, I was going to post a picture of Grady with his hip helpers, shorts that help keep his hips close together when crawling and pulling up to strengthen his hips. I haven't gotten a good picture of those lately, though. I promise that I still will! However, I did get a couple of pictures of Grady at his favorite place to play which is pulled up at the bathroom mirror. He has convinced Jonah that it is a fun place to play as well. He also does squats, and goes up and down at the mirror. It's like his own little exercise class.


Jonah is enjoying going to swimming lessons. It is a "big kid" thing. The last time he was in swimming lessons, he was in the water with one of us in the parent/ tot class. Now he goes all by himself (with five other little girls and guys including his friend from playgroup, Solomon). The other exciting thing about swimming lessons is that he has a boy teacher "just like me." He has been in art class, gymnastics class, baby and me class, zoo classes, and classes at the nature center, but he has never had a male teacher. Now he idolizes "Mr. Todd."

Surgery!

We're in the waiting room right now while Grady is in having surgery. He already has his ear tubes in, and is in the middle of getting his cleft lip closed. We will be going into the recovery room while he wakes up from surgery when it's all done.

We were already in there while they were putting him to sleep with the mask. He was crying and then his little eyes closed, but even when he was asleep, he was fighting to put his hand in his mouth (the position he prefers to sleep in). He will not enjoy having his "no nos" on his arms; tools that will keep his arms straight so that he will not be able to put his hands in his mouth and mess with his stitches. He should have those on for about 2 weeks.

After the recovery room, we will be checking in for our overnight stay in the hospital on the 6th floor. They will teach us how to feed Grady with a Breck feeder because he cannot use his bottle. He will be fed through a syringe.

Ryan and I were just talking about how we are going to miss his big open smile. But of course it's all for his good to have his lip closed.

Here are some pictures of us checking in and getting ready to go back for him to be put under anesthesia.